.::.Change.::.

Everyone seems to have a misconception about life, a common one. No one truly grasps the aspect of change. Somewhere in everyone's mind is a glitch about it, whether it's major or minor. Unfortunately, at one point or another, every human being wants to live in the past because the present is unsatisfying. Of course, that's impossible. People change, they feel different things, they act differently, and they look different. It's programmed into us that a monotonous life is boring and unfulfilling. This is why nothing can last forever.
I, along with the rest of society, wish I could live in the past. Time machines would be a wonderful invention, gosh knows I would use one. I think everyone would be perfectly content to have the ability to travel back to the bright moments of their lives.
Yet, we can't(kinda obvious people) because that's not meant to happen. At least, that's what I theorize. So, even though we may yearn to go back to that great relationship or moment, we can't. People and time change, we can't do anything about that. I guess we just have to get used to it, huh?

Wow....

I can't keep promises very well...
So, in the next few days... I'm uber busy. Tomorrow- uhm.. today- I have to go to the dr (O.O) for my ear, then food shopping (X.X), then getting nails done (^.^), then back home for dinner (T.T). TOMORROW is the concert: Nickelback, Hinder, Papa Roach, && Saving Abel. Going there withh mummy, megg, my uncle & his girlfrienddd, my sister, & my "sister". That's gonna be tons of fun :D
More important news: my hair is dyeddd. WOOT! It issss an auburn/red/purple/brown/pretty(: I love it. Just a little tidbit of awesomeness. Oh! My "sister" got highlights- same color as my hairr. We look hot :)
Enough teen language, I'm outt.

Whoops...

Haven't blogged in a few days. Just letting you know I am alive and thinking of things. Just been busy. Like, Friday we spent the day at the pool, I'm burnt again. Mom let me use baby oil though, so it's my fault(: Then Saturday we went to Bowman Gray, a local racetrack. Well, not too local if they're making a documentary about it on the History Channel :D
Tomorrow I'll be going all day, so no post for then. Just a heads up =]

Okay! It's fixed.

Tonight was awesome! My two friends came over & we had a fire pit going before it started to rain. Then we stayed outside & my entire family jumped on the soaking wet trampoline. We had a blast and even all piled into the hot tub after we had a water fight via the hose.

Just set up mobile blogging(: ill do my usual philosophical blog later, just felt overjoyed by this. :D

Anniversaries.

Ever since I could remember, we've been celebrating certain events or people. I want to know what brought this tradition upon our society. Seriously, since when must we commemorate such an event? Is remembering not adequate enough for such an affair?
Lets say something terrible happens. For the sake of arguement, your mother just passed. Of course your thoughts are of nothing but her- most presently, her death. Why must you devote an entire day each year for her death? I mean, if it had been me, I would honor her daily instead of on special dates only. You picking up what I'm putting down?
Apparently I was going nowhere with this- my friend says so ;)- just a sort of rant. Maybe I need sleep =D

A Short Story.

Not sure where this was going...



The landscape was soiled; everything was gray and synthetic. The sun never shone there, it was blocked by the skyscrapers. Over the years, anything that was once thriving with vegetation had been destroyed. In its place was Man. Concrete covered the Earth, leaving no room for life. Houses, the size of condos, were closely packed in rows. Wherever you looked, no color was to be found. Every window had bars and chains across them for protection against negative forces. There was a constant stench hanging over this place, an odor known as the overflow of sewers.
In this place, known as Hell to the tenants, gangs ruled the streets. Anyone walking on the grime covered sidewalks either carried a gun or a knife. If one was caught without either of these weapons they were instantly “fixed”, a term that inspires horror in the hearts of the townspeople. Women and children often spent the majority of their miserable lives behind the curtains. The men did everything that was needed for the family to thrive. It truly was prison.
She ran as fast as she could. If she could reach the gates, everything would be ok. That was when she could begin her own life, free of the troubles she faced at home. After sixteen years, Skylar was finally going to get away. With every step she took the backpack bounced against her hips. It created a rhythm, one she depended on to keep going: left, right, left, right. Skylar refused to be caught, not after all her careful planning. She had spent the last five years dreaming of this, and now she had made it a reality.
There it was the last obstacle in her way. The gates to her town were covered in rust, nothing more perfect to represent the monster it kept in. Skylar was almost struck with grief at the sight, but the she remembered her plan. Swinging the backpack around, she opened the zipper. Inside was all of her belongings, plus an aerosol can. A few years ago, a certain book had crossed her path. It was a science book, all about the elements. Of course, rust being an element, it was listed in the book. Along with other scientific terms was the weakness of rust. She had figured a way past the gates.
An hour later, she had finally managed a hole big enough for her to fit through. Throwing the bag first, she pushed through. As she lifted her belongings onto her back, Skylar walked into her new world.

Socially Acceptable

Everyone's been raised to be "social." You remember: elbows off the table, speak only when spoken to, only pierce your ears, etc. I really wanna know, who judges on what's "acceptable" and what isn't? I mean, since when did the "emo's" become outcasts? Really, is wearing $200 jeans logical? I don't grasp how some trends make it while others fail.
For instance, who decided that wearing clothes was mandatory in public? Sure, they have nudist colonies, but still. Is it because some people are obese and no one wants to see what they have, or is it because then all the men would have contests? Another thing is hair. Seriously, why does green hair freak people out? It's on their scalp, they could do with it as they please.
What happened to the saying "To each their own?" How did it become "Their own to each and every?"
I guess this was more of a rant. But still, since when is having your ears pierced three times instead of one unacceptable?

These Are The Moments

Everybody knows the phrase, "Stop and smell the roses." But, what exactly are "roses"? Each person has a different definition of what they are exactly. For me, it's as simple as feeling the wind move every strand of hair, or finding the perfect photograph. For others it could be more complicated, but why? Why does it have to be something extraordinary?
A lot of people go about their lives without even finding a single rose. I feel bad for those types. To see the beauty of life itself is something one could truly never replicate. Whether its seeing the wings of a hummingbird for a moment, or watching the sunset with your significant other, it's still a rose.
The misconception people have with the phrase is exactly what I'm saying. They don't know what a "rose" is. Don't be one of those people. Go, drive to the middle of a huge field, stand there, and listen. To what exactly? Listen to the wind, twisting its way between the leaves, or to the birds singing of happiness.
Ultimately, I think the rose is peace. Whatever you find peaceful, that is truly what your rose is. So, make a promise to yourself. Once every week, or even every month, go take care of your roses. Make sure they're blooming and healthy. Why? Because they'll wither and die if you don't, so take care of your roses. One day you'll look back, and the roses will be what you remember.

Check out the video, really cool.

Society.

By definition, society is "a highly structured system of human organization for large-scale community living that normally furnishes protection, continuity, security, and a national identity for its members." So, truly, everything is part of society. That's to be assumed, according to the definition. My favorite part is the protection. So, apparently we protect the members of society.
Excuse me for a moment, I'm going to go laugh for an hour or so.
Seriously, since when does society protect its members? The only people it protects are the celebrities that are "perfect." I mean, think about it. No one protected the Irish when they started immigrating to the U.S. We didn't protect African Americans during the Civil Rights Movement. Now, we're not protecting anyone who's not straight.
Could we just live in peace? Yes, this is when we all hold hands and sing. I mean, come on! There's obviously a reason as to why we differ! Think about it this way: it's like we're different types of human. Evolution, hello? In my opinion, everyone needs to get over their differences. Why does it matter if they live a different lifestyle than you?
We should take the amount of energy we use to discriminate, and put it towards things that actually matter. Things like our economy, what's left of it anyway, or the environment.
I just don't get what the big deal is. Why can't we live our own life the way we want to?

Hearts.

"Man" used to believe that the heart controlled emotion. I mean, seriously, even the Romans believed that. It is scientifically proven that the brain is the "big guy." He does all the work.
But even if that's all common knowledge, why do we still feel the heart ache? If our brain actually takes on the emotions, why is there that feeling? Everyone knows it, that gaping sensation you get when a relationship ends. How you feel as if a vicious animal has bitten your torso away, and all that's left is blood and limbs.
"Why?" is a commonly asked question in society. Why this, why that, and everything else that could be quiestioned. Yet, my question doesn't begin with the common word, it begins with what. What could possibly make that happen?


Even through everything science has told us, what makes us feel our heart ache?

Take a Moment...

Imagine what it would be like to have twenty-four hours left to live. A wave of emotions would drown you immediately. One of the biggest ones, of course, would be regret. Why didn't I do that, why didn't I stay there, why didn't I admit my feelings to so-and-so. Everyone has something, or somethings, they regret. That's normal human behavior.
I want to live every day like it's my last though. To love who I want, to laugh at what I please, and to smile at what makes me happy. Unfortunately, very few live by this motto. Some fear the wrath of a higher power because they're doing what they please, some fear that they might make the wrong decision, or some might be stingy with their belongings and refuse to risk them in any fashion. Some people might be as I am, yearning to live that way, but are unable to because people rely on them too much.
What would you do if you had a day to live? Truly, what would you do? Don't fool yourself & dream of big things. Let's be realistic, that's impossible. No one has that kind of money.
For me, I would spend that night writing everything I had ever wanted to say to people but never had the guts to on slips of paper. Every cent I owned, minues my funeral, would be put towards my debts. All of my furniture would be donated to charities, and so would my clothing. My death would be paid for and planned. Then I would drive to the first beautiful, scenic, peaceful area I could find, and, with the notes in my pockets, I would die as quietly as possible. An odd way to go I guess, but who cares.
Just wanted to add these thoughts to the vault.
After all, you never know what tomorrow has in store for you...

Quick! Get me a Flux Compacitor!

We're going back to the future! Now, I'm no grammar cop, but isn't there something wrong there?
The unknown terrifies me, all the way to my naaive heart. Of course, as one can ASSume, the future is obviously part of that unknown mass. With everything I've been told about adulthood, I'd like to die before turning eighteen! Money, Taxes, Mortgage, Career, and Childreen. Yes, they're in caps because they are THAT terrifying. The biggest one for me would be Career, which goes hand-in-hand with Education.
Ever since I was a little kid, mummy and daddy have always stressed school. That was my key, to get through school with a 4.0 GPA and recommendations from the world's best Ivy League colleges. I was the... intelligent one out of the four of their children, the one who would pay to take care of them when they couldn't. But, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have it any other way. Yet, because of that, I've been formed into this anxious over-achiever. It's enough to make oneself gag, right?
I guess what I was trying to get at is the level of how much the future scares me. I mean, there's so many possibilites, and I have so many different paths I want to take. To be a marine biologist and travel the world with fish, or be a chef in New York City and live in an apartment with my boyfriend, or be a scientist and find the cure for cancer, or to be a member of Green Peace and free the whales. Ehh, not quite the last one, but mummy's always said I should.
All these possibilites, so many paths, and so many decisions. Somedays I want to follow one path, and other days I want to say "Ya know what? Screw the paths!" and run around in circles, screaming nonsense.
So... even though the world is just beginning to wake up, I can hear the birds already, I'm retiring for the night, and I'm doing so with thoughts of flux compacitors and time machines. It would be easy to have one. If you decide you don't like the outcome of your life, simply go back to the day you decided upon it, and BAM!, now you've taken an entirely different life. Ahh, the wonders of fantasy and science ficiton :)

Twilight VS Harry Potter

Everyone read Harry Potter at some point in their "childhood." Promises of magic and fantasy hooked all of us. It was "cool" to read the series, and that was all people talked about. The movies, at times, were scary, but we loved it anyway. To dive into the world of wizardry, was the one thing I looked forward to on a daily basis.
Then, all of a sudden there was a vampire whispering promises of love into our ear. Everyone, fooled, ran into the arms of the Twilight series, leaving Harry to fall into the hands of the Death Eaters.
Personally, I prefer Harry Potter. The series was there for me when I needed it during elementary school, I could escape from everything and live in Hogwarts. Magic would encircle my dreams, it truly was the one thing that made me happy. Well, besides music.
But Twilight wasn't there. It hadn't even been created yet- to my knowledge at least. In my eyes, Twilight mocks me. Edward looks at me and says, "I have Bella, and she has me. We're happy. Kearstin, look at you. You have no one." Not to mention I think vampires and werewolves don't exist- not in that sense.
For me, Harry Potter will always be my favorite- even when the movies end. Memories of reading all night, and going to bed at 6:00 A.M., only to wake up at 9:00 that night. There was no spark for Twilight with me. I have enough drama with love in my own life, I don't need it in my books, too.

Woot!

Today was pretty boring.... I slept until four or so, then tried to sort out more of my sister's iPod. I really didn't know what to post, but I wanted to brag about this artist. His name is Galt Aureus, he's amazing! The link on the title is him. The song's called "You Don't Want To Find Out Too Late" go check it out.
Despite my protests, I baked another cake. Confetti cake and homemade icing. It's Earth :)

That's all I got for now. Maybe something dramatic will happen and I'll rant about it. Knowing my friends, it's possible.

Who Am I?

I was asked to describe myself by a very important person. That’s when I stopped. Who was I? Realization struck me, I didn’t know. Truly, I was clueless. One could say I’m a hopeless romantic who knows it’s impossible. Or, one could say I’m the emo kid in the back of the class who talks to no one, but aces all of her tests. Or, you might even think I’m that obnoxious chick who acts like an idiot with her friends.
But underneath all of that, I’m me. I’m anger, affection, fear, doubt, insecurity, intellect, solitude, depression, façade, wisdom, advice, yearning, and unique. I’m the type that will wish at 11:11, even though she knows it’ll never come true, or the type that says “I love you” instead of “love you” because she truly means it, or the typical type of girl who wants the perfect boy, but knows how rare they are, or the type who pays attention to every little detail because actions speak louder than words . Yet I’m the girl who puts school first, as much as she may not want to, the girl who wants to make something out of her-self. I could go on, and on, but I won’t. Why? I would end up leaving something out, and things would go on forever. If you’re reading this, then you should know me by know- even if you think you don’t.

The Island

This is an excerpt from the book I'm writing. Random and in the middle, but whatever. Probably my favorite part.




I drove to the first field I could find, the rat gnawing at me. Every doubt I had about coming back was free, causing any damage it could. The need to swallow the doubt, to cage that rat once again was intense, the only feeling against the rat.
Calmly, I forced myself to walk until I reached the middle of the field. When the point was reached, I laid down. What my eyes beheld, were my friends, who had always been there, through everything. Andromeda, Sagittarius, Cassiopeia, and even more constellations were in the sky. Always there for me, they were. When I built, they were there. When the hot sun beat down on me, they were there. Out of everything we went through, the stars stayed by my side.
The constellations formed a new cage for the rat, as they always did. Yet I knew the rat would be free again, just as it always had. I looked back to the sky, envisioning my island; the sun, beating down on the trees and farther under the brush, attempting to reach the ground, or the sand, as white as snow, slowly being devoured by the aquamarine ocean. Those thoughts were then overshadowed by others; visions of crosses being burned into trees, and churches being erected in the middle of the beaches, terrible, terrible visions. That’s when I felt a new presence next to the rat. It was fear, but fear isn’t something you can’t touch, or hold. Its smoky tendrils wrapped around me, consuming every positive thought I had. There was no cage for this being, nothing could contain fear.

Good ole' Summer.

Sunburn sucks. Truly. If I get any more color on my chest, shoulders, or face, I might go insane. So even though it's eighty-two degrees outside, I'm in jeans.
Anywaysss, so I have a dog named Tara. Before we switched rooms, my brother and I, she wouldn't step foot into my room. But now, she's on my bed more than I.
Last night, for example, I had a pillow and a blanket. Usually, I have four pillows, one body pillow, and three blankets. Don't ask, it's just how I sleep. If you're capable of simple math, that means someone else had the three pillows, my body pillow, and two blankets. Yes, Tara had it all. I think it took me an hour to fall asleep, and I awoke every hour because she was sprawled against some part of me, whether it be my hand, leg, foot, or stomach. She slept through it all!
Yet, somehow, she's sleeping on my bed as I type.

Song in the title. I'll Be, by Edwin McCain.

Sometimes..

I really hate myself. Originally this post was just gonna be about my horrible day at Wet 'n' Wild, but nope.
Anyway, so I love baking. I'm the only one who's good at it in my family, and I love randomly baking. Makes me feel better. Well, someone left this pastic dish in the oven. I'm the only one who uses the oven, and so I ASSumed it would be clear. Did you know 350 degress melts plastic? My mother freaked- she was in a bad mood previous to the event. Needless to say, I'm not baking for a loongg time. I refuse to. The whole idea was stupid anyway. My cakes are crap, why keep making them?
Just an update, I might have sun posioning on my chest. Yay for being stubborn-headed and not wearing sunblock! :D I feel like I'm still being dragged out by the wave pool....

WooHoo!

Wet 'n' Wild today! I will obviously be gone for the majority of today, so more serious post will be comin' at'cha later! I'm gonna go have some fun- hopefully.


Song link in the title, check it out.

My Rant of Today.

Anger. It's a terrible thing. It fills you with warmth, whispers false nothings in your ear, tells you everything will be ok now that it's here. You do whatever it tells you to, hurt whomever it wants to. Then, when anger laughs at you and disappears, you're cold. You feel empty and sluggish, memories of before are foggy. People around you refuse to talk to you, they're too hurt. You try to apologize, but that doesn't mean it feels better. The gaping wound you caused still hurts, and nothing will ever truly heal the wound. You could spend your entire life trying to heal that wound- but there would still be a scar.
For me, I was doomed before I took my first breath. Anger is the predominate trait in both sides of my family. If you really feel like defining it, I guess it would more-so be classified as rage. I'm not mad, or angry. Just full of rage. I have been ever since I was a little kid.
But we all just had a huge talk- my parents, sister, and I. After they yelled for a few, I opened my mouth. My sister & I have the type of rage that's physical, so I told them we needed a punching bag- something I've been saying for years. My sister agreed. They did as well.
Let's hope everything turns out for the better(:

Also! I've decided I would share my song of the day with whomever's crazy enough to read my blog. It'll be the link on the title. That starts tomorrowww =]

Apparently..

where I live is considered the "southern" part of America. Country, of course, would be the predominate music. Yet, none of my friends listen to it. I, personally, enjoy country. Maybe it's because I'm originally a northerner. Or, maybe because I didn't grow up around it.
Either way, I'm addicted to this one song. Go check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0YhWQSfhtA
Today's my granfather's birthday, and I was helping my mother peel potatoes. The entire time we were all just talking about Obama. Socialized medicine, stimulus package, and the economy. I'm serious, one day I'm going to find my own island and never have to worry about taxes or insurance ever again. This is ridiculous.

My two cents for today. Happy 62nd PopPop <3

Have You Ever...

Felt like everything has gone completely wrong? Where, one day, you stop and look around and think "What happened?" Don't you hate those days?
Today I was tidying up my room and came across the first note my ex and I ever exchanged. In the note he said he liked me back, ya know, typical teen love. But the note brought back the past eight months, and I realized how much things have changed since then. Then of course I thought of the things that hadn't changed. Like, the "icicle" hangin from my bed that he gave to me, or our stupid little jokes and nicknames....and, of course, being a girl, I cried. xP
Today wasn't really a happy day. I think I received a beautiful injury on my head from my sister- head+forcexconcrete= Bump. Not fun.

My two cents for the day :)

Religion: One of the Most Diverse Topics.

I've been atheist for a while. A few months ago, my boyfriend tried to persuade me into becoming Baptist. Didn't really work out too well. So, needless to say, I don't really conform easily.
BUT I'm reading this book. Sylvia Browne, God, Creation, & Tools of Life. You should go check it out. http://www.amazon.com/Creation-Tools-Life-Journey-Soul/dp/1561707228
It has literally given me an entirely different view on things. I really feel as if this is right. So much, that my ex and I got into a mini-fight about it last night.

Anyways, my thought for the day. Maybe I should go say hello to my family now; I've been in bed all day =)

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

I decided to start my own blog, to share my "priceless" thoughts on things. Thoughts that might include, society(What a wonderful thing), music(the reason I breathe), and life in general(Oh, the joy).